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• Why do so many people want to be buried rather than cremated??
• Why does it bother me so much when people ask for the orange chicken, or the bbq pork. You’re not asking for it all, surely you want some??
• For that matter, why does it bother me so much when people are asked what they would like and respond that they need a two-entree bowl. I see you, you don’t need no food at all.
• Why is Sharon Osbourne on the TV?? For that matter, how the hell did Piers Morgan get on US TV?
• Why put your precocious brat kid on a talent show and then get upset when the judges are on honest in telling them they are crap? Better to get some realism now than grow up thinking they’re Britney and going without knickers in their teens!

My Mum should have been 64 today but life’s a bastard sometimes. To celebrate her life I had a Robbie Williams night, she loved him and I see her in his lyrics. Hell, I see me in his lyrics too.

Two movies, two bottles of wine and Robbie live at Knebworth, I’m seeing Angels, too. Mr Bojangles where are you now?

So You Think You Can Dance is back and I love it, makes me wish I wasn’t a fat old git and could do it again. Anyway, there have been a couple of highlights so far in the auditions but I already forgot who they were to go look them up. Last night though, Bryan Gaynor blew everybody away with this amazing routine: