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Random thoughts of a Brit living in the Imperial Valley of California

Proud To Be An Ugly American!

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No, not me, not yet anyways…. but our good friend Eric Galvan from the local rag. Its Friday so it must be rant ‘o’ the week time and Mr G doesn’t disappoint. If you want to read it, go ahead and take a look after the jump. Of course he’s trying to be provocative but I don’t think he has the intelligence to pull it off without looking like an angry jerk. I’d say but at least it sells news papers except that I don’t know anyone who admits to reading what he writes.

5 FEET OF CONCRETE: Proud to be Ugly American
By ERIC GALVAN, Staff Writer

I hate soccer. I love football. I hate when it’s referred to as “American” football.

We’re in the United States, so it’s just football to me.

I’m cocky and sometimes condescending. I eat red meat, consume junk food, don’t drink wine, prefer hard liquor like vodka and/or rum.

I hate soccer.

I’m typical. I’m the Ugly American.

I drive a fast car, blast my music while I’m driving said fast car and occasionally bend the posted speed limit.

A lot of people I know, all Americans, many Mexican-American, do the things I do.

I cuss a lot. I spend more time watching TV than I should, will spend an entire Sunday on my couch or bed or sports bar watching real football.

I enjoy this. I love doing this. It’s who I am. It’s who a lot of people are.

Am I wrong for hating soccer? No. It’s the American way. It’s how I was raised and it was the environment I grew up in.

I was born in Brawley, love my hometown, love my alma mater and still refer to it as “God’s country.”

Soccer wasn’t what I grew up with. Playing “guns” and riding bikes up and down the street with Aaron, Joel and D.J. was what I knew; not soccer.

I thank God and my parents for not bringing soccer into my life. It’s been a blessing that wasn’t so disguised.

I still can’t stand to watch soccer. I don’t care that some European soccer player is getting $250 million to play soccer and sell his image — he’s only getting about $50 million for actually playing soccer.

It’s considered the “most popular sport in the world,” but because I don’t live anywhere else in the world and don’t really care about other places around the world it doesn’t matter to me.

Where I live, the country in which I was raised, couldn’t care less about it.

It’s who we are. It’s the way we were taught.

Third World countries play soccer because people can’t afford to play anything else. All you need is a ball and that’s it. No glove, pads, bat or hoop is needed, just a ball and at least two people. It’s simplistic and is entertaining for millions.

I’m not one of the millions.

I prefer contact sports. I prefer more than a single goal/point scored in the games I watch.

I like watching guys knock the hell out of each other and get back up to do it again.

I like watching two pugilists in the ring, battling for their livelihood. I ooh and aah with every cut above the eye and shout out with an “oh sh—!” every time I see someone get knocked out or laid out.

I have no issue with being the typical, ugly American because that’s who I am.

I’m not typically loud, but I can sometimes be rude, conceited and confrontational; it’s in my nature.

People don’t always agree with what I say and as a typical American, I don’t always care.

I love football and have loved it since I was first introduced to it when I was 7 years old. It’s part of who I am. I use football in my everyday lexicon and even use examples from past moments to describe situations to others.

I paint pictures with football. I compare my cool, calm demeanor when I’m up against it to that of Joe Montana or Tom Brady.

Some may hate it and try to tear me down, but it’s who I am.

I am the Ugly American and I’m damn proud of it.
(c) 2007 Imperial Valley Press

Written by admin

January 13th, 2007 at 8:11 am

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