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I keep threatening to do it, tonight I finally am! Keep tuned for my thoughts on each couple as they dance. Yeah, I can feel your excitement.

• So You Think You Can Dance is easily the best reality show on TV
• Why is there not one, but two, shows on right now to do with getting the words right to a song? Ack.
• What’s the deal with the Bollywood, ahem, dancer getting to the final 20 in America’s Got Talent? Talk about crap!
• Everything else is even worse, I can’t even bear to look at Pirate Master.

Last night was the start of the third season of Dancing With the Stars. Despite some problems with the show, I was a big fan of the previous two seasons but last night’s show was just so boring. I think perhaps it just went on too long, or maybe the stars just weren’t very interesting or recognisable. The football star was better than last year’s but didn’t deserve any standing ovations; its only one show and already everyone is showing the same old biases. The judges are already bickering and, like with American Idol, it isn’t entertaining any more. There were some highlights: I loved the foxtrot by Vivica A. Fox and the ex-Miss USA contestant. Jerry Springer was fun to watch, and any time Karina Smirnoff is on screen is a good time by anyone’s standards.

So you didn’t listen to me on Thursday, or perhaps you voted for Jerry just out of spite? Dancing With the Stars has problems with its final show – Jerry is almost guaranteed to win as he clearly has the popular vote. But anyone with one half-working eye knows that his dancing is not on a par with the others, and the articles are no doubt already being written about what a sham the show is. Because of the ranking system used, about the only way Jerry can lose is if the judges tie Drew and Stacey for first place. If that happens then Jerry can only come second no matter the viewer vote. But if there’s a tie, we’ll all know that the ‘fix’ is in. Like I said, the final is damned no matter what.

We all know reality shows are little to do with reality but in most cases the person who goes further than they should is usually gone when it comes down to the trophy, and the winner is usually deserved. But here that person is likely going to win if the show doesn’t get rigged against him, and I’m not sure that’s happened in a reality show before.

I deliberately haven’t blogged about this season’s Dancing With The Stars but feel compelled to urge you all to vote for Lisa tonight. Yes, its admirable that Jerry Rice has the balls to try dancing but he truly is the worst person at this stage of the competition. And not just by a little, but by a whole planet. Its a dance competition, folks, not a celebrity fan club event.

I know Lisa has no chance, but wouldn’t it be nice if for once a reality show put forward someone who met the talent criteria rather than the most popular person? Come on, American, I know you can do it.