guapacha.com

The sad fact about airplane travel is that you get to spend large periods of time cooped up with large numbers of people. And that means the chances of meeting more stupid people increases. For instance – how hard is it to sit in your assigned seat? There were only 40 seats on the flight to LAX but at least 10 people had chosen to sit other than their assigned seat. Perhaps its arrogance rather than sutpidity – that somehow they are more important than everyone else and we will all quietly go sit somewhere else rather than make them sit where they were assigned. We are all not worthy.

And why can’t people follow the frick’in rules on a plane? Seats belt on, chairs in the upright position for take-off, doesn’t everyone know that? So how come two different people get up and go to the overhead lockers just as the plane is taking off from LAX? We’re halfway down the runway when they do it. Same with people who get up the minute the plane stops at the gate, before the seatbelt sign has been turned off. I understand that everyone wants to get off before the people in front of them (after all their time is so much more important than mine) but there is a safety reason why you should stay in your seat. A few years ago I was on a southwest flight, stopped at the gate, people got up, and the plane lurched forward, several people falling over, one guy got hit by falling luggage. Much to my glee, the captain came on and said “that people, is why you are told not to get up until the seatbelt sign has been turned off”.

I’m going back to England again next week, can’t wait to enjoy my fellow man’s company.

Got some spare cash? Well, you might want to send some to save this bunny. If the owner doesn’t get $50,000 he’s going to kill it and eat it. Amazingly, so far he has over $16,000 collected.

Or how about a piece of history? Go to ebay and bid on the very breast implant used to beat a man by Tawny Peaks some years ago. Top bid is over $14,000!

Well, I’m off to England this afternoon to be with my family for my mum’s tumour removal surgery so there won’t be any updates for a while. To fill the void, may I suggest you visit one of the fine alternatives on the right.

It seems like the Amazing Race was on just last month (oh, wait, it was!) but I’m pleased to say that this season looks like being a big hit. For once the model-types are in the minority (though not without representation – go Megan and Heidi, Debbie and Bianca!) and there seems to be only one real full-time jerk, the new Jonathan, if you like. I think this is probably going to be the best Race in a long time which is just as well as the next one is going to be families competing, eek.

In my excitement thinking about Kirsten Dunst I forgot one of the real highlights of the show – when the British winner said winning was “the dogs bollocks”. Heh, not even the tape delay censor got that one. Perfect.

I don’t usually watch the show but found myself in front of it last night. Kinda boring, no controversy to spice it up, not enough statues to Brits. But I did want to complain about Chris Rock. First, why the hell did everyone give him a standing ovation just for walking on stage? And whats the deal with the anti-Bush jokes in his opening monologue? I’m no fan of Bush but this is supposed to be entertainment, just because you’re a “celebrity” and have a captive audience doesn’t mean you should use it a platform for your views. Its just poor taste for the host to do it. Another low light – Dustin Hoffman presenting best film; was he drunk? high? asleep?? Way to spoil the big announcement, Dustin.

But there were some highlights: Natalie Portman, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kirsten Dunst and Halle Berry were all mighty fine!

One casualty of the recent rains has been poor Santa Paula airport. As the following picture shows, you’d better have very good short field landing techniques to land there right now, or maybe deployable floats?

My mum has been diagnosed with a brain tumour.

In order to transition into WordPress 1.5 I am introducing a new blog to the guapacha family – my flying blog, though the URL will be shortened once I get it all working how I want it. For now, there is nothing there but the first post. Over the next few days I shall be experimenting with themes to provide a custom look, or at least a look based on someone else’s theme 🙂 Once I understand what’s going on, look for updates to guapacha and miniblog. Can you feel the excitement?

Click here if you want to see screenshots of the upcoming Star Wars 3 movie. It looks sweet. Update: link is no longer available.

And some sweet new iPods. Update: I’m sure gonna get me one of them there 30G ones. But the mall car park where the Apple Store is located is currently underwater so I will have to wait a while.

I’ll be upgrading to WordPress 1.5 soon so don’t panic if this site becomes even more useless than it currently is.

It seems tizzy tha idea just won’t go away, some states W-to-tha-izzant ta introduce a tax on tha miles you drive . Fo’-fo’ desert eagle to your motherfuckin’ dome. It seems tizzle by hatin’ thugz ta drive mizzy efficient vehicles, tha state is saggin’ revenue n needs ways ta makes tizzle up. So…. here’s. a tax on how many miles of road you use. The article raps also `bout tha price per mile being different gang bangin’ on tizzy of dizzy location etc. I thiznink its a diznumb idea, why not jizzy increaze tha tax on gas W-H-to-tha-izzich will keep revenues up n continue ta discourage messin’ gas guzzl’n cars . Im a bad boy wit a lotta hos. And if we really have ta have a pa-mile tax, why not jizzle have tha motherfucka read on a regualr basis? Pimpin’ a GPS in each ride is jizzay a recipie fo` abuse.

My thanks ta gizooglizzles fo` tha translation n ta Brian fo` weed-smokin’ it out